lacrimae rerum

Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably priced love! And a hardboiled egg.

This is the first Glorious Twenty-Fifth after Sir Terry Pratchett's passing, and I think it's a much more solemn occasion for Discworld fans around the globe than in former years. I mean, it's always been half-solemn for fans as far as I know, with the remembrance of those who died in the revolution (and it's Memorial Day this year), but it's also a happy celebration combined with Towel Day and Geek Pride Day and stuff. But this year, I think many of us are wearing the lilac in solidarity with one another in memory of Sir Terry Pratchett as well as our beloved book characters. At least, that's how I felt with some large Discworld groups on Facebook; we shared our loss and grief, and we all wore the lilac not only to mark the 25th as the anniversary of the revolution in the book, but as a mark of remembrance for Sir Terry.

I certainly felt a lot sadder. My copy of Good Omens is signed by Neil Gaiman, and one of my life goals was to get it signed by Sir Terry Pratchett as well. I remember staring at that signed page, realising that this would never happen, and shedding tears some time after I first heard the news. I want to read more about the Watch, and about Granny and Nanny, but there will be no more stories (unless Rhianna is taking over?). And then I went on Tumblr; damn those onion-cutting ninjas.

I couldn't find any lilac here in Perth, but the rosemary in our garden has little purple flowers, so my partner and I made do with those and wore sprigs of those to uni/work today. Rosemary for remembrance.





This was breakfast today.



How do they rise up, rise up, rise up?

G N U

Constable Dorfl, Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom (with Wee Mad Arthur on her shoulder, mostly hidden by her beard), Commander Sam Vimes (with Errol the swamp dragon), Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson, Lance-Constable Sally von Humpeding, Captain Delphine Angua von Überwald and Constable Reginald Shoe.



T'dr'duzk b'hazg t't!

For the Good Omens Exchange 2011, I wrote a long Good Omens/Harry Potter crossover AU fic which the mods titled Slytherin Vaguely Downwards as I could not think of a title. It grew into an utter monster and I went way over the deadline, and at one point I think I even had a nightmare in which the mods were so angry they banned me. XD

God, the story was hard. Crowley was not easy to write for; I'd sit and stare blankly at the Word document for ages, cranking out maybe two words an hour, and then at 3AM when I was about to go to bed I'd suddenly find the words flowing out and type furiously for another few pages until I passed out. I researched the weirdest things, racking up a Google search history of 'food allergies', 'coconut allergies', 'English-Latin online translator', 'old-fashioned cuckoo clock', 'kola nut properties', 'sarsaparilla properties', 'guido reni st michael painting', 'magic marker' and so on, and discovered the lovely resource that is the Harry Potter Wiki along the way, where I looked for Ashwinders and Herbology textbooks and pureblood history and all sorts of other things; when I was writing a battle scene I drew on the spells in my memory at first, since I can recall quite a lot, but eventually had a tab with the Wiki's list of offensive spells open while writing. I also spent ages on Pottermore one afternoon studying and contemplating wand woods and cores, and went around with my nose buried in my copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them for a week. At one point I jumped up and ran to find my copy of Quidditch Through The Ages to doublecheck what sort of wood the handle of a vintage Silver Arrow broom would be made of.

The longest chapters/short stories I've ever written thus far have been maybe 9 pages in a Word document; this one was 28, if I recall correctly, and went up to 29 after I added some end notes. I went, "Hallelujah!" out loud when I finished it, though I did enjoy writing it. Mostly. Slipping in references to the Discworld series and other random references like William McGonagall was definitely fun, as were the footnotes.

  steadfast and sunflower_mynah are my awesome beta-reading team who also provided lots of encouragement - the Dr Filius quip and footnote were entirely Jen's idea - and eidolon_bird and kleine_teekanne were also there to hold my hand and listen and cheer me on when I moaned about how big it was growing and how difficult Crowley was being. _silverfox and seablue_eyes were also encouraging. Thank you so much, all of you. ♥

There are actually a few scenes I had in my head that I had no time to write/didn't quite fit into the story arc. However, I may write and post them as Extras/Deleted Scenes if I can.

And it turned out that sidesinger, my recipient, was actually assigned my request as well! She wrote me an absolutely FABULOUS Good Omens/Harry Potter crossover called Hogwarts According To Adam and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Hers had lots of awesome Discworld references too - clearly we both love the Librarian - and even had references to the Shoebox Project! She even had photos of actual handwritten notes from Crowley to Aziraphale that made me squee out loud. *flail* And there were tons of moments that made me laugh out loud, and it was amazing. And we basically exchanged GO/HP crossover fics, which is just awesome. 8D

I'm tired and just want to watch Justice League or something, but I've already put off posting about the outing with sunflower_mynah  aka Mysti on the 18th for a few days. XD Admittedly, I've had work.

On the 18th of May, for some youth animation festival thingy, they were showing Coraline in 3D, and there'd also be Making-Of scenes and talks by people who'd worked on it. I found out when they were selling tickets during the World Free Comic Book Day celebrations at work, called Mysti, invited her along, and bought two tickets.
( Summary with photos! )


On to questions 11 to 15 of the book meme!

( 11. Do you own multiple copies of any book? What are they? Why do you have multiple copies? )

( 12. Book borrowing – do you use the library? Do you prefer to try before you buy? What about lending your books to friends? Are you a good borrower, do you remember to return books?  )


( 13. Do you reread a lot? Why (not)? Name a book you have reread many times. )


( 14. What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?  )


( 15.Do you recommend books to other people? If you could force everyone you know to read one book, what would it be?  )


See, this is why I cannot do all 30 questions at one go like sunflower_mynah  did; it'd be novel-length. XD I do have to work the early shift tomorrow though, it's now 12.20AM and I need to wake up by 6.40AM, so I need to post this and sleep!

From Terry Pratchett's Men At Arms. I was reading this bit at the train station and then I burst out laughing and then was continuously giggling and the other commuters were edging away.

"Have - have you got an appointment?" he said.
"I don't know," said Carrot. "Have we got an appointment?"
"I've got an iron ball with spikes on," Nobby volunteered.
"That's a morningstar, Nobby."
"Is it?"
"Yes," said Carrot. "An appointment is an engagement to see someone, while a morningstar is a large lump of metal used for viciously crushing skulls. It is important not to confuse the two, isn't it, Mr --?" He raised his eyebrows.
"Boffo, sir. But--"
""So if you could perhaps run along and tell Dr Whiteface we're here with an iron ball with spi-- What am I saying? I mean, without an appointment to see him? Please? Thank you."
The clown scuttled off.

Sorry, I had to share. XD

Aargh. My A Levels were finished at the end of last November and I have a break until university starts much later this year. I'd been looking forward to this period SO MUCH last year, and planning what I'd do kept me going.

Now the months stretch ahead of me and I have so many things to do but just can't bring myself to finish them. Would the word ennui be appropriate? There are times when I just walk around the house, unable to motivate myself to finish any of my current projects or start a new one. None of them seem to appeal to me; sometimes they do but I don't feel like doing them anyway. When I'm on the computer, instead of writing or doing anything productive, I spend hours faffing about on Facebook or reading (in some cases, rereading) fanfiction.

Maybe a list will help. Things that are in progress will be italicised, things I've completed will be struck off.

( Reading )

( Movies/TV )

( Music )

( Writing/role-play )

( Craft Projects )

( Miscellaneous )


*stares at list* This is going to end up like that post-O Level list of mine, isn't it? Lakshmi and I wrote up a nice long list and we only did a few things on it. Sigh.

This was at lower_tadfield , and it made me cry.

'I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod.

'Oh, and since this is England, I had better add, "If wet, in the library". Who could say that this is bad?'

Sir Terry Pratchett is one of my all-time favourite authors. His Discworld books have given me many very enjoyable hours, mixing humour and deft satire in with philosophical commentary on the human condition and deeply thought-provoking questions. I've learnt more about literary cliches and tropes and archetypes and such from the Discworld series than in a year of English Lit with Mrs Desiree Teo.

A year or two ago, he revealed that he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and due to the reaction, jokingly said some time later that he wasn't dead yet. quantum_witch  actually did a comic about that, and if I can find it I'll link it here.

In this article, he speaks out, calling for the law to allow assisted suicides in the United Kingdom.

We would not walk away from a man being attacked by a monster, and if we couldn't get the ravening beast off him we might well conclude that some instant means of less painful death would be preferable before the monster ate him alive.

And certainly we wouldn't tuck it up in bed with him and try to carry on the fight from there, which is a pretty good metaphor for what we do now, particularly with 'old-timers' disease.

(My speech-to-text programme persists in transcribing Alzheimer's as 'old-timers'. In fact, I've heard many people absent-mindedly doing the same thing, and as a writer, I cannot help wondering if the perception of the disease might be a little kinder without that sharp, Germanic intonation.)

And later in the article:

Would you know, if you suffer from Alzheimer's disease or are representing someone who is, whether the place you would be choosing resorts to 'peg feeding'?

Peg feeding is the forcible feeding of patients who refuse food. I found out about this only recently, and I'm afraid it has entirely coloured my views.

These are, after all, innocent people who are on the road to death, and yet someone thinks it is right to subject them to this degrading and painful business.

He talks about how he wishes to die:

I am enjoying my life to the full, and hope to continue for quite some time. But I also intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod - the latter because Thomas's music could lift even an atheist a little bit closer to Heaven - and perhaps a second brandy if there is time.

Oh, and since this is England I had better add: 'If wet, in the library.'

Who could say that is bad? Where is the evil here?

and that is so Pratchett - 'since this is England, I had better add: 'If wet, in the library' - that it made me want to both laugh and cry.

He talks about his Discworld character Death, who has always been one of my favourites among the Discworld's regular characters simply for his uniqueness, and the way deft humour is blended in - his Pale Horse's name is Binky. He loves cats. He's constantly trying to learn a musical instrument. He likes fly fishing. He makes Christmas, or Hogswatch, cards for his grand-daughter (he adopted her mother, who eventually marries his apprentice). How can you not love this Death?! - with his philosophical commentary on humanity.

He mentions meeting people who drew strength from his books, particularly the character of Death, as they themselves fought terminal diseases. He talks about true cases of people who want to die, yet cannot.

And he ends, poignantly, with:
 

Life is easy and cheap to make. But the things we add to it, such as pride, self-respect and human dignity, are worthy of preservation, too, and these can be lost in a fetish for life at any cost.

I believe that if the burden gets too great, those who wish to should be allowed to be shown the door.

In my case, in the fullness of time, I hope it will be the one to the garden under an English sky. Or, if wet, the library.

And people wonder why I love this man and his writing. He knows that he will suffer before death, and he would rather die happy, die enjoying life, die with dignity.

'Assisted suicide' is such an ugly term, with its link to the depraved, cowardly act of suicide. It should have no bearing on the dignity of choosing your own manner of death, to choosing to die happy rather than die after a long and futile struggle with pain and feeding tubes and machines. If you know that it is hopeless, why cling on?

And if, touch wood, I ever find myself in Sir Pratchett's shoes, I would choose his path. I'd rather die in either a garden or a library, with a mug of hot chocolate, than struggle with medicine for a lost cause.

If you think about it, even after a struggle with Alzheimer's, after being shown the door to wherever it is he wants to go after death, Terry Pratchett won't be dead. He's going to live on in the hearts of the millions of fans around the world who have been touched by his books and his life.

*raises her glass [of sparkling apple juice, since I'm a minor] to Sir Terry Pratchett*

And what comes after death? Sir Pratchett speaks often of a door in this article; to where does it lead? I think Sir Pratchett himself summed that up best, in the words of his Discworld character Death: THAT'S UP TO YOU. IT'S ALWAYS UP TO YOU.



A kindly angel: Death, as portrayed in a scene from the Sky TV adaptation of Pratchett's Discworld novel The Hogfather.
 

(My icon is a quote from Good Omens, co-written by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. I suspect Pratchett of being behind this particular line.)

The General Certificate of Education Ordinary Level examinations started on 20th October and ended last Tuesday on the 11th of November. At 9.01 AM on 11th November, I WAS FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have loads of new books to read, and have planned various things with my friends. I recently bought Neil Gaiman's latest book, The Graveyard Book, and I LOVE IT! Also, my aunt is leaving for Dubai and she let me choose any of her books I wanted. So I have tons of sort-of new Terry Pratchett books, including my favourite Thief of Time, not to mention... *1812 Overture playing in background* Good Omens, which he co-wrote with Neil Gaiman!!! I finally have my own copy! I also have a ton of promising-looking books by someone called Edward Rutherfurd, if I remember correctly. I have plans for a book of my own, and I'm hoping to make some money by giving tuition to the little ghouls students in primary school.

Also, tonight is the Graduation Ball, aka prom. More on that later.

I had 276 new e-mails when I first logged in after the exams, and more are coming in at an alarming rate; I've been trying to go as fast as I can but I still have 155 new e-mails.

Also, if luck is on my side I can go get my prom dress later. If I can't I shall borrow my sister's gorgeous white punjabi suit. Why so last-minute? Again, more on that later, but in a nutshell, basically when I first brought the consent form home some months ago I got a flat-out No from my dad. My mom and sister wanted me to go but couldn't do anything - at least, I thought they couldn't. Last night, in bed, I mentioned to my sister that today was prom. I didn't say anything else, but she must have heard my tone. I lovelovelove my sister!

This morning, she woke me up and informed me that I was going to prom tonight. My dad's leaving for Batam, so she caught him before he left and asked for permission and the $80 for the prom ticket. I'm still in shock he agreed. That's a problem, though - tickets were bought months ago, and I called my teacher to ask if it was possible for me to still come if I paid tonight, and she didn't pick up; I left a message but she hasn't called back. Damn. I'm worried. :(

Edit: I just got a text message from her - she asked the teacher in charge of the Grad Ball and is awaiting a reply. *waits with beating heart*

Anyway, overall though, life is good, and I'm a lot more cheerful today than I would have thought possible last night. I've been enjoying life since Tuesday, reading loads and watching movies and checking my mail and reading/writing fanfiction.

Gotta go, more on prom later.