Writer's Block: What's under Snape's cape?

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... I'd pat down pre-Azkaban Sirius Black. Yum.

And feel him up while I'm at it.

Heck, I wouldn't mind patting down post-Azkaban Sirius Black, but I think that he might resent it, being a fugitive. ;)


Edit: Okay, they changed the question. o_O Yesterday it was "If you were the TSA at Hogwarts, which character would you pat down and why?"